The Crucible (Meta-Coaching Book 8) by L. Michael Hall

Author:L. Michael Hall [Hall, L. Michael]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: NSP
Published: 2013-03-16T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

ACCEPTANCE

The Magic of Acknowledgment

“If humanness is accepted and loved, then many local, ethno-centric problems simply disappear.” Abraham Maslow (1968, p. 196)

“Only when his fears are accepted respectfully can he dare to be bold. We must understand that the dark forces are as ‘normal’ as the growth forces.”

Abraham Maslow (1968, p. 54)

“One of the most powerful influences on emotional health and well-being is the capacity to accept reality, to accept what is. The extent to which one can accept what is profoundly affects his psychological ability to adapt.”

Joseph Dunn, Ph.D. Psychologist

You do not have to read far in the field of psychology to realize that most psychologists have an amazing appreciation for the awesome power of acceptance. We’re always wanting to get people to accept

themselves, others, life, God, reality, wrinkles, traffic, aging, burnt toast, and other challenges in everyday life. I learned this surprising secret very early when I came across a quotation from Alfred Alder, and then another from Carl Jung, that I found shocking. Both said, “You can never get over a neurosis until you can love your neurosis.” My first thought was, “Love your neurosis?” you've got to be kidding! That's the last thing I want to do! “I would never want to encourage anyone to do that!”

While that statement may be an extreme expression designed mostly to shock, it points to an incredibly important resource—acceptance. It is, in and through, acceptance that we are healed, released, and freed for emotional health and well-being. The use of the term “love” is used in the first quotation at the top of this chapter to call attention to the absolute necessity of acceptance for solving life’s problems. In this, acceptance, as a key ingredient for effective coping and for mastering the challenges of life, it is also the pathway to self-actualization. Acceptance surprisingly and paradoxically offers you one of the most powerful transformative tools you’ll ever come across. There's hardly anything more profound in human nature than acceptance.

Now if this seems preposterous, recall how acceptance, as a transformative process, has been around a long time and has been known for generations. It is the foundation of serenity prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

The word acceptance (from Latin and French) literally means “to take, receive, or hold.” In accepting, you “receive with consent, give admittance, sometimes give approval to, endure without protest, regard as proper, normal, or inevitable, and receive as true.” The mental side of acceptance is to receive something into the mind for understanding and comprehension. It is to acknowledge what exists. The emotional side of acceptance involves welcoming something. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to welcome it. You have to open the door and invite it in rather than leave it out in the rain.

Abraham Maslow minced no words when it came to his recommendations about acceptance:

“If we want to be

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